Always Keep The Faith

     Happy Birthday Remus!

     It’s so hard to express how your existence important to me since last year. As a HP series fan for over 20 years, how can I take so much time to realise how our situations similar to each other? 

     Suffering severe pain once a month, taking almost a week to recover(except the potions/drugs we need lots of chocolate as well), when we are not in that week we could perform well or even fabulously , but when we are unfortunately in that week, even get up from bed would be a serious problem to us. Consequently we are always not to be able to find a proper job to let us have a better life quality.

     Despite all the obstacles in your life, you’re still the most brilliant professor of Defence Against the Dark Arts in Hogwarts during the long history, the kind-hearted and loyal member of the Marauders and also the Phoenix, the best senior friend to Harry apart from Sirius and always gave them nice advices and helped them a lot behind, the best husband and father to Nymphadora and Teddy although there were not much time for you to spend with each other.

     And it let me reflect on myself and my life on a totally different view, remind me deeply that since I won’t see you as a sympathetic failure, and even admire and respect you from the bottom of my heart, then why should I see myself, a person that have so many features like you, like that without sense and objectivity? 

     Thank you Remus, for being a phenomenal character in HP series, for saving a person who finally stop despising herself, for being not only Harry’s professor but also all of ours, for teaching us there are much more wisdom and courage we’ll gain when we were destined to be abnormal, but also EXTRAORDINARY in other way, just like you, an extraordinary person that even though so many years have passed and even yourself have passed away, still you are remembered, reminisced, missed, and loved. 

　　生日快樂，親愛的小雷、雷木思、月影，以及我們的路平教授！

　　實在是難以隻字片語解釋你對我有多麼重要，真的就是去年突然某個半夜一個醍醐灌頂，接著就是淚如雨下。身為一個HP骨灰粉，到底怎麼花這麼多年才頓悟原來你我是如此相像呢？

　　一樣每個月都會有近一週的時間痛苦不堪、不成人形（literally），而且除了喝藥水／吃藥以外還得攝取大量的巧克力（笑）然後也因此而長年無法找到「一般人的正常工作」，自己的經濟狀況與生涯規劃也因此大受影響，也根本不敢、也沒有餘力去考慮戀愛或婚姻。明明那一週以外的時間我們都能表現良好，甚至是優異，但每次請假下來的愧疚感與面對身體不聽使喚的憂鬱實在很難不讓人積勞成疾，像上個月嚴重經痛過後去婦產科檢查完依然是無所收穫，讓我很難不認真覺得自己輩子大概就只是生下來等著讓經痛每個月修理我一次。

　　而就是那樣想起你的某一天，我意識到即便你一輩子都深受每個月一次的狼化所苦（而且還背負著污名並且被世俗唾棄，加上狼化還不會因更年期就自然結束），但你仍然是霍格華茲歷年來最傑出的黑魔法防禦術教授、仍然是劫盜團與鳳凰會的大家最忠誠溫暖的朋友、仍然是哈利除了教父天狼星以外最信賴依靠且亦師亦友的存在、仍然對小仙女與泰迪而言是最引以為傲的丈夫與父親、也仍然是我們粉絲心中最值得尊敬與喜愛的角色……倘若我不會以一般世俗的眼光排斥或畏懼你，而是能看見你這一路走來有多麼拚命努力且選擇良善，而我又為何要因此而貶低自我呢？畢竟沒有人想要生病不是嗎？

　　謝謝你的存在讓我們認知到一個人的生命可以透過後天的努力與疾病相抗衡之餘還能如此發光發熱，一個即使不能像一般人一樣「正常」的人，其實也代表著他能在與疾病奮鬥的過程中獲得比「正常人」來說更多的智慧及勇氣，而不正常同時也意味著不平凡，如同你一般，是個如此不平凡且卓越出眾的人才及老師，同時也是個深具同理心並勇於付出關懷的友人、丈夫與父親。也因此縱使這麼多年過去，即便連你自身的生命都已消逝，但你仍以另一種形式，如灰狼般堅毅執著，也如銀月般溫柔和藹地常駐我們心中。

（身為小天本命犬狼粉只有出過小天，所以以下基於個人私心附贈小雷視角的小天XDDD⬅️要找到他有對鏡頭笑的照片好難）